The best books for surviving (or being obliterated by) domestic life

If you are a Gen Xer like me and you wax nostalgia about the freedom of the mothers of your childhood vs. the shackles of parenting in the early twenty-first century as I have, Kim Brooks’ book is for you. Kim made the most grievous error a parent can make today: she left her four-year-old in her minivan in the parking lot of a rural Target so she could quickly grab an item. Though her child was fine, someone called the police. This event sent Kim down a rabbit hole to find out: is the American childhood as dangerous as people think? Her remarkable, thought-provoking book argues that childhood is remarkably safe, children should be exploring their environs, and some form of free-range parenting for many parents and kids should be the norm rather than the exception. This has been my philosophy since having children, and I was happy to read a smart, sober book validating my beliefs.

This gripping novel is based on the 2012 murder case in New York City in which two children were stabbed to death by their nanny. From the first gripping sentence, “The baby is dead” until the last, this psychological thriller set in Paris never lets up with a fast pace and smart sentences. I loved this book. Although it portrays my worst fear, it does so with sophisticated empathy for all involved. As NPR said about the book, “In Slimani’s hands, the unthinkable becomes art.” I devoured it in two days.

It’s the 1950s and in spite of the staid conservative culture of the times, Anne Wheeler and her husband Frank have artistic aspirations. When they move from New York City to Connecticut, they struggle to hold on to their identities. Anne is adrift, starring in amateur suburban theater and keeping house and Frank is working long days in a job he hates. When their plans to move to Paris are derailed, the result is tragic. This horror adjacent novel is single-handedly the main reason I never settled in Westchester or Connecticut—opting for a funky Hudson Valley village instead—and was a big influence on my own novel. 

In the late 1990s I arrived in New York City to work in publishing. For a certain period of time my salary was so low and my luck so bad, I wound up homeless. This 2020 Kirkus Prize-winning debut novel of a twenty-something Black woman working in publishing and financially flailing felt familiar and real to me. She begins an affair with a white man who lives with his wife and their adopted Black daughter in New Jersey and after she loses her job, moves in with the couple. Her sentences dazzle with wit and psychological insight. Kirkus called it "Sharp, strange, propellant—and a whole lot of fun." 

I listened to this novel while gardening during the pandemic and found it utterly absorbing and heartbreaking. It surprised me with its twists and turns, humor, and pathos. Roy and his wife Celestial are newlyweds in Atlanta living a life of ordinary young marriage challenges, planning to have children, and what career moves to make. After Roy is falsely accused of a crime, found guilty, and sentenced to twelve years in prison, the two must find a way to move forward after the American Dream for them is shattered. The sophisticated, stirring novel asks the question, what does one spouse owe another when the state takes away their freedom? By turns heartbreaking, funny, and wise, American Marriage was an Oprah pick and long-listed for the National Book Award. A year ago I did an event with Tayari and probably gushed over this novel to the point of personal embarrassment!